Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
Late Night Jokes
Jay Leno
John McCain’s economic adviser Phil Gramm is under fire. He says Americans are bunch if whiners. He also says the country is in a mental recession, we are experiencing a mental slowdown . . . kind of like President Bush.
Earlier this week, the Senate approved a new eavesdropping bill, which means they’re now allowed to listen to what you say without you knowing it. Jesse Jackson is really upset about this.
Insiders claim that although Jesse Jackson publically supports Barack Obama, privately he doesn’t like him. Kind of like Bill with Hillary.
Today, Jesse tried to reach out to Obama who said, “Keep your hands where I can see them.”
Conan O'Brien
Today’s New York Times once again raised the issue that John McCain may not be eligible to be president because he’s not a natural born U.S. citizen. Apparently, McCain was born outside the 13 colonies.
Jesse Jackson says he’s trying to put his remarks about Barack Obama behind him. He says Obama has forgiven him. Obama says he’ll appoint Jesse Jackson secretary of nut cutting.
Barack Obama this week was endorsed by the U.S. Black Golfers Association. Not only that, Obama was also endorsed by the Association of Asian Hockey Players.
Last night, Hillary appeared at fundraiser with Barack Obama, and Obama told the crowd, “Hillary rocks.” Then Bill Clinton said the same thing, but he was talking about Hilary Duff.
John McCain’s economic adviser Phil Gramm is under fire. He says Americans are bunch if whiners. He also says the country is in a mental recession, we are experiencing a mental slowdown . . . kind of like President Bush.
Earlier this week, the Senate approved a new eavesdropping bill, which means they’re now allowed to listen to what you say without you knowing it. Jesse Jackson is really upset about this.
Insiders claim that although Jesse Jackson publically supports Barack Obama, privately he doesn’t like him. Kind of like Bill with Hillary.
Today, Jesse tried to reach out to Obama who said, “Keep your hands where I can see them.”
Conan O'Brien
Today’s New York Times once again raised the issue that John McCain may not be eligible to be president because he’s not a natural born U.S. citizen. Apparently, McCain was born outside the 13 colonies.
Jesse Jackson says he’s trying to put his remarks about Barack Obama behind him. He says Obama has forgiven him. Obama says he’ll appoint Jesse Jackson secretary of nut cutting.
Barack Obama this week was endorsed by the U.S. Black Golfers Association. Not only that, Obama was also endorsed by the Association of Asian Hockey Players.
Last night, Hillary appeared at fundraiser with Barack Obama, and Obama told the crowd, “Hillary rocks.” Then Bill Clinton said the same thing, but he was talking about Hilary Duff.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Late Night Jokes
Jay Leno
With gas prices approaching $5 a gallon, a lot people are starting to use bicycles. In fact, coming in today, I saw Jesse Jackson backpedaling all the way.
On Fox News, Jesse Jackson, during an interview, not realizing his mike was on, said some pretty nasty things about Barack Obama including that he would like to cut his testicles off. Hillary Clinton commented on the remark saying, “I don’t know what the big deal is — I say that to Bill at least once a week.”
Jesse also said he thought Barack Obama was talking down to black people by lecturing them on things like fatherhood and being a responsible husband. Jesse thought it was insulting not only to him, but to his former mistress and their love child.
John McCain is coming under fire for comments made by his top economic adviser former Sen. Phil Gramm, who called America a nation of “whiners,” and that the nation is only in a “mental recession.” That $5 gas and the bank repossessing your house? That’s all in your mind.
Conan O'Brien
On Fox News, Jesse Jackson was caught saying he wants to cut Barack Obama’s n**s off. This marks the nicest thing ever said about Barack Obama on Fox News.
Jesse Jackson has said he is trying to apologize to Barack Obama, but Barack Obama has not taken his calls. Apparently, Jackson is so mad that Barack won’t take his calls, he’s once again threatened to cut his n**s off.
John McCain also in the news. At a campaign event, McCain refused to answer any questions about Viagra. Mainly because all the Viagra questions came from his wife, Cindy.
With gas prices approaching $5 a gallon, a lot people are starting to use bicycles. In fact, coming in today, I saw Jesse Jackson backpedaling all the way.
On Fox News, Jesse Jackson, during an interview, not realizing his mike was on, said some pretty nasty things about Barack Obama including that he would like to cut his testicles off. Hillary Clinton commented on the remark saying, “I don’t know what the big deal is — I say that to Bill at least once a week.”
Jesse also said he thought Barack Obama was talking down to black people by lecturing them on things like fatherhood and being a responsible husband. Jesse thought it was insulting not only to him, but to his former mistress and their love child.
John McCain is coming under fire for comments made by his top economic adviser former Sen. Phil Gramm, who called America a nation of “whiners,” and that the nation is only in a “mental recession.” That $5 gas and the bank repossessing your house? That’s all in your mind.
Conan O'Brien
On Fox News, Jesse Jackson was caught saying he wants to cut Barack Obama’s n**s off. This marks the nicest thing ever said about Barack Obama on Fox News.
Jesse Jackson has said he is trying to apologize to Barack Obama, but Barack Obama has not taken his calls. Apparently, Jackson is so mad that Barack won’t take his calls, he’s once again threatened to cut his n**s off.
John McCain also in the news. At a campaign event, McCain refused to answer any questions about Viagra. Mainly because all the Viagra questions came from his wife, Cindy.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Late Nite Jokes
Jay Leno
They're now investigating why Barack Obama's charter jet had mechanical problems. ABC news says the jet was previously used by Hillary Clinton. So Hillary lets Barack borrow her plane and it had some problems. I wonder what that’s all about . . .
Conan O'Brien
The Democratic Party announced this week that Barack Obama will give his acceptance speech at an 80,000-seat stadium and that they will not serve fried food at the Democratic Convention. Which begs the question, Where are they going to find 80,000 Americans who don’t eat fried food?
They're now investigating why Barack Obama's charter jet had mechanical problems. ABC news says the jet was previously used by Hillary Clinton. So Hillary lets Barack borrow her plane and it had some problems. I wonder what that’s all about . . .
Conan O'Brien
The Democratic Party announced this week that Barack Obama will give his acceptance speech at an 80,000-seat stadium and that they will not serve fried food at the Democratic Convention. Which begs the question, Where are they going to find 80,000 Americans who don’t eat fried food?
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Late Night Jokes
Jay Leno
It was so hot today, John McCain offered a $300 million prize to the first person to develop a prune Slurpee.
John Kerry is now criticizing John McCain. Kerry is saying McCain doesn’t have the judgment to be president. I don’t think that’s true. McCain had the good judgment not to accept Kerry’s offer to be his running mate in 2004.
Conan O'Brien
Barack Obama's campaign has announced they are going to hold an event at a NASCAR race. The event will be called, “Meet Your First Black Guy.”
A 60-year-old woman was kicked out of a McCain rally for heckling him. Afterwards, McCain said, “I’m just not popular with young women.”
It was so hot today, John McCain offered a $300 million prize to the first person to develop a prune Slurpee.
John Kerry is now criticizing John McCain. Kerry is saying McCain doesn’t have the judgment to be president. I don’t think that’s true. McCain had the good judgment not to accept Kerry’s offer to be his running mate in 2004.
Conan O'Brien
Barack Obama's campaign has announced they are going to hold an event at a NASCAR race. The event will be called, “Meet Your First Black Guy.”
A 60-year-old woman was kicked out of a McCain rally for heckling him. Afterwards, McCain said, “I’m just not popular with young women.”
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